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leaving for yizkor


Leaving for Yizkor

    In Judaism all of our customs and traditions are replete with great significance and symbolism. The custom of saying yizchor is no different. Yizchor is more than just a prayer which remembers those who have passed on, it's an opportunity to raise their neshamot, or souls, to a higher level in Olam Haba, the World to Come.
    The very fact that we have the ability to raise the neshamot of our loved ones is learned from no less a personality than Dovid Hamelech, King David. Avshalom, Dovid’s son, rebelled against him and tried to usurp the throne. A civil war broke out and, in the end, Avshalom was killed. The Gemara tells us that when Dovid heard the news that his beloved son was dead he wept and called out "beni", "my son", eight times. This, the Gemara states, was to atone for Avshalom and to raise his soul up from the seven levels of Gehinnom, and then finally to raise him into Gan Eden.
    Our Rabbis teach us that the soul of every person, whether alive or dead, needs atonement on Yom Kippur. Indeed, the name Yom Hakippurim which is in the plural alludes to the fact that both the living and deceased need atonement. Rabbi Yosef Caro, in his sefer Beit Yosef, explains that the primary atonement comes from giving money to tzedakah. We give money on our behalf and on behalf of the deceased. God, who examines the deepest recesses of man’s heart, knows that had the deceased been alive, he too would have given tzedakah and, therefore, He adds this extra merit and raises the soul of the deceased.
    Interestingly, although the custom of saying yizchor is mentioned by the early Halachic Authorities only in connection with the observance of Yom Kippur, it has subsequently now come to be said on the last day of every major Yom Tov. The reason for this is alluded to in the Torah reading for those days. The verse states, "Every man according to the gift of his hand." From here we learn to pledge tzedakah on Yom Tov. In the words of the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch, "And since we vow donations to charity, it became customary to give these monies for the sake of those departed in the hope that the Almighty will remember them auspiciously."
    As we have mentioned, the custom is for the people who are not saying yizchor to leave the shul while it is being recited. There are two reasons given for this. The first is so that these people do not disturb or confuse the people reciting yizchor. A strong basis can be found in the halachot of tefila where we find that one may not pass in front of, or disturb in any other way, one who is praying. The second reason is because of kavod Yom Tov, or the honoring of Yom Tov, whereby one may not cry on Yom Tov. Although it is permitted for those reciting yizchor to cry out to assuage their grief, others who are not relatives, are not permitted to similarly vent their emotions and, hence, mar the enjoyment of their ownYom Tov by crying.
    May this brief discussion of this important custom and our, now enhanced, understanding of its significance bring with our recitation of it this Yom Kippur a tremendous aliyah to the souls of our loved ones.

Rabbi Eliezer Kessler
Houston, Texas

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