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    One of the most joyous of all the life cycle events is the birth of a child. There are many beautiful minhagim or customs associated with this joyous occasion. Perhaps one of the most special of these is known as the shalom zachor. This is a distinctive celebration held on the first Friday night after a baby boy is born. The only thing that most people know about this gathering is that the parents are warmly congratulated on their new arrival and that, chick peas, along with a whole lot of other food and drink, is served. As you can imagine, there’s a bit more to it than that. Actually, the origin, history and significance of the shalom zachor are quite interesting, as we shall see.

    This minhag of shalom zachor seems to be a very old practice indeed. The sefer Terumat HaDeshen by Rabbi Israel Isserlin ben Petahiah (1390-1460) relates that, in his time, there was a custom to gather on the first Shabbat night after the baby was born. He quotes the source for this as a certain gemara which states that one should make a meal in honor of and in appreciation for the baby coming forth from the mother’s womb. He explains that this ended up taking place on Friday night mainly for the practical reason that everyone tended to be at home at this time. Moreover, he adds that because the purpose of the meal is to give thanks to Hashem for the new life He has brought into the world, the meal, itself, has the status of a seudat mitzvah.

    Another reason for the shalom zachor is offered by the Turei Zahav written by David HaLevi Segal (c. 1586–1667). The Gemara writes that when a baby is in the womb, he is taught the entire Torah. However, as soon as he enters the world, an angel comes and strikes him on his mouth, causing him to forget the entire Torah. Because the baby forgot all the Torah he had learned, he is likened to a mourner, saddened by the loss of his loved one. Just as we visit a mourner in his home to comfort him during the mourning period, so too, do we visit the child at his shalom zachor, to do the same. This is also the reason why chickpeas, known as arbes, are served at the shalom zachor, as they are round and are therefore, like the hard boiled egg, an appropriate food for a mourner. It also explains why, if the baby is not present for whatever reason, the shalom zachor does not take place.

    The name shalom zachor, in and of itself, is imbued with meaning. Certainly the basic meaning of the words which translate as, “welcome to the male child” is very appropriate, but it can also have an additional meaning. In some places it was customary that whoever would make a brit milah or marry off a child would invite not only his family and friends to the celebration, but also his enemies, as well. The idea behind this was that the gesture might provide an opening for the parties to reconcile their differences. By inviting them to come eat and rejoice with him, the baal simcha would, hopefully, get his “former” enemies to end up blessing him and not cursing him. Hence, applying this to our situation the name shalom zachor would also mean “the male brings shalom (peace).”

    In the end, we see that this custom of shalom zachor, like so many others we’ve discussed, has much more to it than first meets the eye. Just like a beautiful diamond has many facets, each of which reflects the light in its own special unique way, so too, does our tradition contain many varied and rich minhagim, each of which reflects its own special unique meaning and significance. Just as each facet of the diamond contributes to its overall brilliance and beauty, so too do all of our minhagim, when taken together, add up to our rich and beautiful way of life.