Welcome To My Kosher Home

“Many” have enquired about the Plain Food Institute. So here’s the (short) story. The spirit of PFI was born in the Klondike, a lunchwagon operating before WWI in Eveleth, Minnesota. Working men came in hungry, ordered a bowl of soup and sandwich, got it quick, and cleaned their plates. What more could you want.

When you’re hungry, you don’t want to wait. And, if you don’t clean your plate, the food’s no good. That’s what they said then, and it’s what we say now. Make it quick and eat it up!

The Plain Food Institute is dedicated to pure research into and the practical application of the short order experience in the residential kosher kitchen. And, while the Short Order Division has been the lone standard bearer of the institution for many years, the recently established Slow Cook Division is blazing trails into the new century.

Taxi drivers who dare to enter the neighborhood will never find the street, much less the unmarked door of PFI. Inside, the big, gleaming stainless test facility looks remarkably like a residential kitchen. Here we test the recipes and serving techniques under real-life conditions and publish the results exclusively in mykosherhome.com.

PFI personnel are constantly exhorted to adhere to the principles of the place by the many mottos informally decorating the walls: "There is no food that cannot be improved by frying." "Don't potchke, just do it!" "Whole eggs are good for you." "Cream and butter were not created for nothing." "Leftovers are just used food."

We measure two important qualities: speed to the table and cleanness of plates. The principles and metrics of critical-path scheduling are used to order the steps of meal preparation and minimize the time from pot to plate. Cleanness is measured by dividing the gross weight of the dirty plate into the tare weight of the clean plate. As the fraction approaches 1.0, the dish achieves perfection.

While research often concentrates on individual dishes, we always consider their place in the finished meal. There are three meal types: breakfast, lunch, and dinner. A dinner meal draws items from each of five food groups: 1) main dish, 2) veg, 3) starch, 4) salad, and 5) beverage. Breakfast and lunch usually drop the even-numbered items.

Nomenclature is important. There are no drinks, only beverages. No meal is ever great, OK is good enough. When emotions cannot be contained, the technical term "out of this world" may be used as long as it means OK. Actually even moderate compliments cause embarrassment and it is best to say "not bad" if you have to say anything at all.

PFI: Boy's Own Division

We have a loyal following of boys and young men who are often hungry when no one is around to take their orders. So, by popular demand PFI has organized a research effort whose goal is to find the path to complete satisfaction for these guys. From the very beginning we recognized that personal responsibility was the way to go. If you want anything done and there's no one to do it for you, do it yourself.

Menu items have been selected which are perennial favorites, and easy to prepare from ingredients likely to found anywhere. Instructions are presented with an eye toward the critical steps and without a requirement for precision. These recipes are often forgiving of outright flubs and numbskull moves. Best of all, the items are tasty and quick.